Cottonwood – Joshua Tree NP (2)

Traveling can be psychologically fascinating sometimes. It can be frustrating sometimes too, but if you figure out how to unravel the glitches, you can uncover some deep stuff. I mean, at one point during this stay, I was figuring out the evolutionary benefits of the drive to acquire living room furniture while Richard was out speed hiking a loop trail in order to satisfy his drive to complete planned tasks because he’s got some toes on the Autism spectrum. I’ll get into how this leads to inventing our own “Thinkables” and “Unthinkables” in the next blog post, but we are currently doing really well working together to plan activities, knowing our own particular triggers and how they play off each other.

We had a big glitch on the first full day in this park. Getting there from Anza Borrego worked well though. Last time, Richard planned to bike up Box Canyon to the campground, but I hadn’t realized that by dawdling in the morning, I was feeding his anxiety about whether he would be able to successfully complete that plan. It built for him, silently in his head, until he had a panic attack. I was blissfully looking at landscaping designs on my phone, completely unaware until it was too late. This time, we knew what to do to prevent all of that. We left plenty early, I reassured him I was ok by stopping along the way to let him pass, and he had a really enjoyable ride. He said it was the first time in a long time he had been able to let go and just vibe on what he was experiencing in the moment. Successful execution of a plan!

The next day, we had a loose plan to do a nine mile hike out to the Lost Palms Oasis. I was looking forward to spending time with him and figured a long hike like that would be plenty for his activity needs. Then he suggested he could start the day by doing a three mile loop on his own before we set out together, and that set me off. It took us all day to uncover what happened there and we did not do the long hike. We did do the three mile loop together though, after we’d pushed through the defensiveness and were ready to let our guards down.

In a nutshell, I have some baked in land mines regarding feeling physically inadequate. I’m pretty sure growing up hiking with my dad laid a lot of that programming down. I’ve worked really hard to improve my health and hiking stamina, but I cannot possibly keep up with Richard. So there are booby traps there if I feel that what I can do is simply not enough. Meanwhile, Richard has a very hard time being flexible about “Plan A” once it has been set. He worries whenever it seems like something might impede his ability to finish the plan and he basically goes full throttle until the mission is complete. He was actually trying to make it so that he could chill the hell out on the long hike with me by completing a shorter one first so he could get that “Plan A” box checked. But I read it as “nine miles at a slow pace is not enough.” Then boom, we’re both defensive and not communicating well.

At the end of the day, we were back working together and we reset to do the long hike plan the next day. He needed me to help with the executive functioning piece around what time he would need to leave and be back in order for us to leave with enough time to hike the long hike at my pace. It all sounded achievable, and we set ourselves up for the best chances for success.

This is a beautiful hike, with a nice reward at the end. It is long, to be sure. We took issue with some of the mile markers because they did not seem to align with what our watches were saying in terms of mileage. We paid super close attention to the numbers on the way back, and actually, the posted signs are not too far off. Maybe the 2.5 miles to the oasis sign is under, but only by like .3 or .4 miles. We were all ready to be Karens and complain to management, but we can stand down. One thing to know is that AllTrails and Guru Maps show the trail continuing past the “Welcome to the Lost Palms Oasis” sign. I don’t think those are sanctioned trails, and so the mileage markers will not reflect going all the way down to the canyon floor. That added another half mile or so. Not a huge deal, but good to factor into calculations.

That was a great day! It felt satisfying not only because it was a big hike to tick off, but also because of the couples therapy work we had to do to make it happy for both of us. The trail is dotted with some wildflowers and offers incredible views of the Salton Sea on some of the high points. Some of it is wash walking, and some of it is along steep and narrow rocky ridges. It was well signed (despite our complaining) and easy to follow. The final unsanctioned scramble down to the floor is not any of that. It is tricky and hard to follow the best informal path, but did not present a scramble I could not do. We didn’t stay long because it was awfully windy and cold that day, but we got our bragging rights and earned our trophies.

As Joshua Tree campgrounds go, this one is the most chill. It is a far drive from the central part of the park, but there is no line of cars or kiosk to get through. There are far fewer people down at the south entrance and it generally feels like a more relaxing place to stay than any of the campgrounds in the middle. It is also a lot lower, so temperatures will be ten degrees lower there than at Jumbo Rocks. This is particularly good to know in the winter. We watched with awe as a bike tourer set up in the site next to us, just sleeping on the cold cold ground and stripping naked for any to see as he was gearing up in the morning. Meanwhile, we ran the heater while sipping lattes, and waiting for the water heater to finish so I could take a hot shower. Every time we return to a place, we get a little better at it. This was a good therapeutic stay.

Total miles from Anza Borrego: 81.5, 3 hours 45 min with sagging, 15.7 mpg. Site A16. Great back in site. Prefer this over pull along sites on outside of loops. Some are very short, but this one fit us just fine. No cell service for either. No wifi anywhere. Good solar, but it’s winter, so ran generator on night 3. Good dump with potable water.