Harris Ranch (4)

The anticipation of long breaks in the school year calendar hangs in the air for weeks in advance. Teachers know the exact daily, even hourly, countdown, as do many of the students. The last Friday before break is filled with performances, celebrations, and largely non-academic chill time until early dismissal at 12:15. We were eagerly packed and ready to go the night before, so all we had to do was discharge any essential duties before hitting the road to get to the long stretch on I5 south.

Getting to the deserts requires about three longish travel days for us. We’ve done it in two, but that’s pushing our car time tolerances. The best rhythm we have found so far is to go between 150-200 miles on the first day, then around two hundred the next two. There are not a whole lot of choices of places to stay, given that cadence, but we have come to appreciate doing an overnight at Harris Ranch, aka “cowschwitz.” This is a mega ranch in the middle of California’s Central Valley, not near to anything in particular, which is a blessing for all concerned.

As you approach the ranch, you know it’s coming miles before you see it. Unmistakable wafts of ammonia begin to infuse the car, despite all vents being closed. They quickly grow into an eye watering sensory experience that makes you definitely question whether this is a good idea. Happily, the winds were carrying the aromas away from the resort, which lies five or so miles to the south of the killing fields. There were only nuanced hints of cow pee permeating the air when we arrived.

The most exciting part about staying at the resort, besides the barbecue, is knowing you’re going to be in a parking lot. They have been building a brand new RV campground for a while now, but it did not look open for business quite yet. Either that, or no one was willing to pay for pull through hookup sites when they could stay for free in an empty lot. Campers used to be able to park in the hotel parking lot for free, but now they have signs saying that is a no no. It’s an open question how long they will let people use the lot by the charging station, but it must bring in business for them, so I don’t see why they would ever ban it. 

We are among the many RVers who find a spot and then go have dinner. In December, all of their impressive collection of Christmas decor comes out. They’ve redesigned their gift store so it’s a little less crammed with knick knacks, but the good ol barbecue gas station take out place is the same. You can order world class sides of a variety of grilled or smoked meats, along with classic fixins. I have settled on white cheddar mashed potatoes and gravy, with rice pilaf as my go to selection, while Richard lands on the baked beans and coleslaw..We share a side of ribs, if they’re available, and either Tri Tip, or brisket. It’s always perfect.

Then we walk around a little, and privatize for the night, watching holiday movies on the big screen to welcome the official start of our vacation. We have upgraded our rear projector screen material and the picture is much snappier. For Christmas, I got a pair of camping slippers and a rechargeable blender that was mentioned by Altoistes at the last Altogather. I have a protein powder shake every single day for breakfast and I far prefer a blended version over the spring ball in a shaker. It also makes a mean margarita. It is a Ninja Blast Portable Blender, for curious minds wanting to know.

We’re on our way south, hoping to beat the upcoming storms. As it was, we got away from home with little time to spare before it began raining there. Weather forecasts suggest we will make it to our first long stay before the excitement hits. We were passed by an Alto on the road and we all waved wildly at each other. We don’t know who they were or where they are going, but we wish them safe travels and calm weather. Happy holidays, y’all!

Total miles: 168.3, 3 hours 38 min, 17.7 mpg. Empty lot behind Shell. Free, no services, but public restroom adjacent to the lot. Excellent cell service and right by gas. *Francois: I used the word “nuanced” just for you.